Life

people lie through confessions

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 08:41:10 GMT

i do as i please
i lie through my teeth
someone might get hurt
but it wont be me

learn

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 08:22:05 GMT

Back when they started dual diagnosis they transferred this 15 year old boy from Hogan to DSH. This boy had a habit of crawling into heat ducts. The heat ducts don't go anywhere at Hogan, it's a newer building and you can't get hurt. Anyway they sent him up and he was up there for about 3 weeks and he disappeared. We searched everywhere for him. We looked all over and we couldn't find him. The staff over at J ward started to notice a horrible smell getting worse and worse everyday. Anyway to make a long story short, he got inside the duct work in J Annex. The duct work in DSH goes right down to heating coils. He slid down , couldn't get up , got trapped and died. His feet landed right on the coils and literally burnt off up to his shins. I was there and had to go over there and help cut him out of the wall. There must of been 25 people in that room that day. The Medical Examiner, clinicians you name it. I cut the wall and Butch (The Tinsmith) was there to cut the tin duct work. When we cut through it all, and opened it up the kid was right there and looked almost frozen. The pathologist reached in to take him out and his hands sunk into his chest like jello.The smell was disgusting it was a nasty stench and we all got sick. His death brought on a major,major state investigation. His parents were mad as hell and rightfully so. We had big wigs from Boston and the State Police lab up there for weeks. It was just an horrible experience. I've seen a lot in my 24 years and that was by far the worst.
-Preston

http://www.danversstateinsaneasylum.com/move.html

Home Before Dark

bridgewater.

doctor bonner

http://www.danversstateinsaneasylum.com/chronicles.html

fuck myspace

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 20:13:20 GMT

it's made everything so complicated so so so fucking complicated.
there once was a day bitches could have bitch all to themselves and not have to worry about myspace whores. COMMMENTS?!?!?! wtf are comments even when someone can call u via phone..... when someone can come see your ass face to face person to person. PERSON. you're peeeeeeeeeeeeeeople. fucking act like it. get up, get out. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. i hate comments. I hate messaging. I hate myspace. You ruin lives fucking devil whore. we're stuck in front of screen. emotion is elsewhere. goodbye human interaction. goodbye goodbye chances.

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 18:39:36 GMT

Being alone has let me realize:

Everything that means something.

I'm finding myself. Peice by peice. It's happening. Thankyou riff-raff.

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 16:55:38 GMT

My name is Amanda and I used to have an advantage. But, like most individuals that benefit is taken away from us before we have enough sense to comprehend its value. The advantage I’m referring to is the unmindful years, the days when you didn’t have to analyze a god forsaken thing to be content. Popsicles and Kool-Aid had my smiles. &If there were a way to turn back time now my future would lie in the past.

The earliest memory started in Diamond Bar, California. What’s weird is I grew up in the same house, went to the same school, had the same teacher as my mom. The irony of the whole thing, out of everyone I’ve ever known, I dread becoming her so much more than anything else.

My dad was never around much but it didn’t bother me. I didn’t dwell on it. I guess as a kid there really wasn’t too much you could dwell on. Anyway, he was in and out of jail for alcohol related charges, murder even. I know it sounds bad. I hope it sounds normal. I think it’s overrated. But it’s almost as if we’re closer because of his hardships. He’s learned to be isolated and from that the only people you can trust are the ones that you love the most. Just so happens, I’m one of those ones.

Moving on, my parents never got along. They didn’t even get married. But those two have had problems since before I came into the picture. Word is, he hit her, a lot even. Hospital visits, battered homes & hide outs were common. But word is cheap now a day and even cheaper when it comes from my moms’ mouth. Things were on a fast ward slope and they never ended up making it to graduation. She ran away and had a baby. Guess who. But as I said, they weren’t ever at peace with one another and eventually learned to let go, or maybe it was just my mom?

We moved to Utah. This is where she met Jesse. Jesse’s been with us for almost 15 years now. He’s my dad just the same as Greg and if it were up to me I’d have him play a role in my life for a longer while than 15 years.

myspace bulletin [[i fucking hate]]] read on...

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 05:24:20 GMT

period

haha

i hate people telling me not to talk [[teachers & bossy softball girls]]

I hate people telling me to pay attention or not laugh.

people who try to hard

people who like to tell me how life aught to be

people who steal my exboyfriends : ( [[not brittney&jay]]

people who think their style is key. & they know bost.
no you dont

school

going there

being there

not having a hand holder.
but not wanting one at the same time.

listening to my mom nag @ my brother.

watching her ignore him day to day.

girls stuck on boys.

"im over it"
face it: youre not

dont front.

bc then when youre real nobody beleives.

people who have some sort of grudge against girl jeans on boy legs.

get over it if you arent into it.

youre not the one who has to wear em.

[[more than likely some unintelligent(sp? bc im tired) person will have something to say along the lines of "well i have to look at em dont I?" umm no fool turn away.]]

people who think theyre better than me bc really.. u cant be.

my mind is beautiful.

the way it works.

have fun with that whoa statement.

intimidation is a killer

i hate miles between people

i hate long distance relationships

and green tea thats not sobe brand.

i hate youyouyou if you're not up to date.

if you leave me hangin

if you ditch me.

if you dig me.

if you dont talk back.

if youre not diversity.

if youre on myspace all the time.

if you have issues

and constantly profess them to the public.

if you think you're

stronger

smarter

or worth more.

[[cant happen]]

all in all

i hate everything about everything not having to do with me or my good times.

conceited?

i think not.

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 17:22:41 GMT

I pretty much need to know how to fix this thing so it isnt so dull.

&&&hey kidz

dont be ignorant and simple minded @ me because I added you and you don't know who I am.

Im just looking to broaden my horizons, meet new people.

get it?

livejournal is unlike myspace in the fact that really.... how many friends I have doesnt make a difference because who even gets on here anyways.

so uhh understand that im interested in meeting new people and trying new things.

dont close a friendship door ladies&gents.

bc wtf could it hurt?

psh & anyways don't add me to myspace unless we grow as *people who talk to people*

kpz

what the fuck

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 18:46:37 GMT

is livejournals problem?

im trying to add new people

and thus it has a stink about it.

& yeah thanks trev... i know "shit happens"

but fuck.

step over your issues livejournal.

I need to get this done did and dealt with.

kthx

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 21:32:44 GMT

I’m Amanda&somebody once said something that wasn’t okay. “Unbeing dead is as if you’re alive.” They couldn’t possibly have been more dead to me at that very moment. Life is what you make of it in small doses. Life to me is midnight internet conversations, home made grandma food, movies&popcorn, a warm day, a good laugh, a nice swim, a jump, a run, a picture, a phone call, a day in the mall or on the road, music, screams, tears, chokes, smiles, struggle, dreams, heartache, family and friends. @ almost 18 years of age I take things not-so-seriously. Elohel and ohemgee. BestGirlFriendzFor</b>Ever&Life, Samantha, Brinanna & Ashley. (That Nathan kid aint so shabby neither) I don’t talk things out, drama died in my neck of the woods freshman year. Got an issue? Confront me with a phist. </strike>drugs</strike> Live with you’re friends, ride with your friends, die with your friends. Racism isn’t my cup of tea&If you drink from that fountain neither are you. I’ve got the smarts to put you down. Mean people finish first. Every guy ever is just the next guy in line. I don’t fall hard and I don’t fall fast. I could honestly care less if you like me or not. It’s all *shrugs&smiles* as of right now. I’m headed away from 928 for the 42nd time. This time, I’m not alone. ♥Samantha You’re ignorance makes me a better person. You’re face makes mine look good. Did I mention I was crazy beautiful? Pretty much I get more ass than a toilet seat. &+My favorite word is nigger so when I see you on the street and recite my poetry don’t take offense, nigger. Ps: nigger does not mean black person. Illiteracy will kill us all. Cities I’m a freak show with a makeup kit. An artist on a shopping spree.

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 17:43:19 GMT

I miss reading peoples journals okay? So ive decided to venture out and find new friends. How bout that?

Last night i was stressed because of Algebra 2 but I calmed down when I found out my cousin in precalculus was doing the same thing last week and struggled hard core soo uhh releife at its best I guess.

to the 3rd power as mrs adams would fancy

dood

Paige+Ally.. here's your love.

<33333333333

anyways..

pzout

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 23:02:12 GMT

I miss reading peoples livejournals. Nosey. chyeah.
thats pretty much me.

why doesnt anyone read or write in these good ol things now a days?

oh yeah.

myspace.

doooooood get a grip people. ventventvent.

goddddd I need a humungusssss break from school. I hate it sooo bad I do I do I do. I miss being nosey so somebody somewhere pleasssssssse write in your eljay and or comment mine.

meh

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 23:00:35 GMT

Whatcha been doin'? Whatcha been doin?
Whoa, Whoa,
Haven't seen ya 'round,

How you been feelin'? How you been feelin'?
Whoa, whoa,
Don't you bring me down,

All that shit about me,
Being with him,
Can't believe,
All the lies that you told,
Just to ease your own soul,
But I'm bigger than that,
No, you don't have my back,

Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's goin' on,
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,

Well I'm sorry,
That he called me,
And that I answered the telephone,
Don't be worried,
I'm not with him,
And when I go out tonight,
I'm going home alone,
Just got back from my tour,
I'm a mess girl for sure,
All I want is some fun,
Guess that I'd better run,
Hollywood sucks you in,
But it won't spit me out,

The Show...hmppph

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 20:03:34 GMT

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 22:49:32 GMT

I’m thinking now about how graceful my cousin seems to be. Every morning she gets up at 5am to shower, blow dry and straighten her hair. Makeup & clothes of course, afterwards. School consists of yearbook (requiring loads of after school time) Pre Calc, Spanish 3, Satire &&& the rest of that jazz. Omg as if that weren’t enough. Her chores pile sky high. Cleansing of the kitchen, day in, day out plus laundry. Imagine. Laundry for 6 people. Nice. The icing on the cake is Del, her boyfriend. How does she manage her time like so? This is where my admiration begins. Del. She tells him where the bear shits in the woods, so to speak. What’s what and where’s where. Here it is, take it or leave it. Example: “where do you see all of this going?”
“Why would you even have to ask? Let’s see where it takes us.”
Right on Sara-nator.
My response: “As far as you’d like it to”
Because I’m a sucker like that. I say nice things regardless of how I feel.
So maybe my telling Jay where to put his little escapade to Vegas was inspired by my cousin being a good willed, strong person.

The jay thing,
Just for note takers
He wants to go to Vegas and see some girl whom he a) wanted to move in with b)made out with and c)hella liked. Would you be just a tid bit peeved? I think so.
Ashley broke up with Jesse so there isn’t as much of a temptation to stay with Jay. Though I like him and though sometimes he makes me smile. I have to admit something about our relationship depended on theirs. Bad? Perhaps. But so is life. I don’t want to break up with him and a part of me looks at this entire thing with a head shake. *pfft I trust the boy* but then again its out of respect that I don’t want him to hang out with her. If he does, Im afraid Ill have to tell him to get to stepping because I cant plus wont handle him putting any girl above me. Selfish? Oh well.

ily

ily

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 21:02:02 GMT

This my first entry and you probably won't get a whole lot out me seeing as how I have truly nothing to say. Wait, scratch that. Nothing to rush through. I hate, absolutly hate rushing ideas. Turth me told. I have loads on my mind right about now but not enough time to write about them due to it being 12:59 and me having to leave at 1:10. *sighs* Algebra 2. So maybe now that I have an eljay again I'll preoccupy myself around it rather than m space. *double sigh* myspace is life who am I kidding? Either way, gotstuh run.

Cherrio